Monday, September 23, 2013

Why should we?

What's the point in going to Ellen when she makes the same mistakes as our parents we try to get away from at times?

Her TV shwo will get cancelled (would,) and she'd be stuck with little miss Portia from Australia and spent money on her wildlife.  She'll have given stuff to others.  She'd have no one to show what she's done.  I'm not threatening her, but I'm saying how sad she'd be if she didn't have her show.  I'm saying that she makes the same mistakes, like, as my mom or also doesn't have a say in like I don't wanna feel much from my dad right now, he's not as fun in some ways.  That's really his personality.  My mom is like that in some ways.  I'm not really like them.  I wanna fit in my world and be cool and be there for people I guess.  Like, maybe she doesn't, but I just walked past the news and someone sounded like she said Nikki Minaj.  Is she playing games saying we see Norwegian people dancing and then "Starships were meant ot fly?"  I don't want kids now.  I was supposed to have a good young adult life, but my parents couldn't provide for me, and I didn't get a blog and work things out.  I was mad at everyone and lost all my friends.

All I can say otherwise is to try not to talk about it as much as possible but to get it out.  I know bad ideas will pop up if you don't learn to get a handle on the abstractions in your life.  So, again, I was just elaborating a story of Ellen, not wishing misfortune on her.  I just wanted to know what her bad side would be.

I have some other issue @ people watching me.  Like, I could have looked good but blame my parents.  They don't seem to know what to do with me and blame me for stuff I couldn't control.

What else?  I dunno, I think she just posted an Asian guy or guy who must look Asian from the back.  She already posted someone who looked either Asian or British or probably Mid Eastern before.  Hm..  Why don't ya'll give me a chance to be healthy and happy?  I can't have people like Ellen DeGeneres posting things like that and me wondering what it means!  And it's like if I got more sleep or worked out before that things wouldn't have affected me like this.  So, I'm affected.  I kinda like it, but I just said it's people getting at me with shit.  I don't want like say my future son to look Asian.  Maybe, I can't really predict anything.  I'm working on myself right now.  See, I just got upset @ something, and then I get affected by things like this.  I don't know what to do @ people surprising me like this old best friend, this old best friend..  Why is the world turned into her mistakes?  I don't know if that's a bad thing to say.  I don't want people to act like I'm stupid and not fun when I am.  I'm not from the great outdoors.  Also, I don't find it fair because I took time off school it so happens and haven't been able to recover.  I didn't get enough smart help to lessen my load and get away from home!  My parents don't want me lying around mad all day on my blog..

You know what I really wanted to say?  I wasn't mad, I couldn't help going into a stoop.  But I still am affected.